STEP ONE: Always know who your team’s coaches are. For example, if the offensive coordinator is the most conservative guy on earth, then your team will probably be pretty bad. Then the coach will most likely just run the ball up the middle 25 times per game and not even throw the ball. When the coach does finally throw the ball, he will throw a dinky wide receiver screen that nets one yard.
STEP TWO: Know if your favorite team’s players are injury prone. If the team you root for has Melvin Gordon on it, it is all but guaranteed to lose because he will rack up injuries and barely play, but will take up salary cap space. This is definitely not good for your team.
STEP THREE: Know your team’s management. This could be the most unknown, but the most useful, tip. If your team has Tom Telesco as its general manager, again, you’re guaranteed to lose. He will hire the worst coaches ever (see step one) and hire players who will get injured quickly (see step one) and will draft players who never live up to their potential.